exempt

6:32PM

my father is on the phone talking about his "Pirate Class" with a peer.

My teenage sister is in her room in sweatshorts and make-up caked face upset that im driving her to her concert tonight(im really not driving her, i lied to upset her. it worked. hilariousness!)

And my mother might have started "the change" today. Her doctor has her on a strict diet of protien starting today. The woman has a fortress made of peanuts, yogurt, soynuts, protien bars, and whatever else she could get her hands on at the health food store in our kitchen. She just finished blowing the Shofar(see below) in the living room. It's a horn that sounds like a dying moose. Anyway, she's made her way to the computer room and is playing christmas songs on the piano while a thorn is stuck in her finger. She decided to pick piano back up today.
Everything is great.

p.s. the oil change guy gave me his phone # along with my .32 cents in change. Big ups to Justin at Penzoil on Broad ladies. He's single! Or maybe just a dirty ho, who knows? Anyway I told him my boyfriend would probably kill him if he found out so I just wouldn't say anything. Does this count?

Shofar:

5:26AM - IDA-WHO?

arrived in idaho safe and sound. crying babies and a weird pit stop to a smoky cubicle in utah. im here to tell you about all the latest fads. listen carefully, right now, and do as i say:

travel back in time to when you were a minor(15 is the preferable age)

get a job at cinn-a-bon in a salt lake city airport(there's only one, so that should narrow it down)

get a nice carved wooden pipe(you can get one at walmart for $11.99, f.y.i. yo). . .

. . .and some crack. now smoke that shit and tell those DICK CLARK ROCK'N'ROLL RESTAURANT employees to fuck off bitches! this is a gang war and you ain't invited to the party!

gang wars in the SLC airport between food establishments. and smoking that sweet sweet crack out of cheap pipes. can it get any better?


anyway. it's snowy here in idaho. merry christmas. be glad you're not flying and enjoy your holiday!

love-emily

3:57PM - STUFFONMYCAT.COM

john-michael gave me this book for christmas. stuffonmycat.com is a website(obviously), where...people put stuff on their cats. the first time i flipped through the book i cried in the bookstore from laughing so hard. anyway, here's a little example, and hopefully you enjoy the rest later on in your own time when you have nothing else to do like me.
;-)

www.stuffonmycat.com

3:39PM - Married To the Sea...

is one of my favorite websites of all time. ALL TIIIIIME. can't emphasize enough.
Anyway, make fun of someone else who blogs to much by using victorian woodcuts and old fashioned illustrations today(just not me, plus that'd be pretty stupid since i was the one sending it to you jigga doi!).


other recent favorites...




hehehe.

3:16PM - My Xmas Stocking...

Honestly folks, i usually have a small window of time to check all my INterWEB stuff maybe once a week. TODAY, on the other hand, i'm doing temp work at the medical society and the phones are slow. Therefore, i'm on garbage overload regarding quizzes and things. sorry, or enjoy. :)

( my xmas stocking )

3:05PM - this made me laugh...

especially the golden girls part.
i guess it would have been more interesting if i wrote more, but anyway...

11:47PM - i think. . .

that i am too lazy to repost this. but i ALSO think you should go check out my other blog. just this once...

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog&Mytoken=355C584E-BFB7-4F86-8493065395F613B6924206656

12:15PM - 1624

What an amazing 16 hours well spent!!! I woke up early yesterday morning to FINALLY clean my house for my guests who were arriving in Chattanooga after a long road trip from california-through the rockies, past the grand canyon, pits stops at towns consisting of only gas stations and pornshops, and finally landing in little old st.elmo(home ala me!). Those of you who are around me quite a bit that i've been in this little house a little over a month, but have yet to actually clean and unpack everything due to unfortunate events such as me messing up my foot or having to take an animal to the vet-just not fun stuff. The days that i was not working 15 hours and had saved for the much needed cleaning day never really existed. SO ANYWAY. I woke up and started cleaning at 9:30'ish with the intent to:

unpack boxes
pick garbage and scraps of whatever off the floor
pick up clothing
move existing furniture around to fit an air mattress on the bedroom floor
hang every single item of clothing i own(i think i used about 200 hangers)
take out the trash
sanitize the bathroom
sanitize the kitchen
do the dishes
fleabomb the house
and clean my car

not 5 hours later i get a call that they're a half hour away. my ass moved into gear. i finally had the time and motivation to get this stuff done! everything got done except for the dishes and the car. i felt so proud of what i had done already though i said "screw you" to the dishes and cleared out the front seat of my car so there would be nice room for one of my friends if they wanted to ride with me. :) my neighbor lady who had seen my apartment in it's previous state said she was going to arrange for me to have guests more often. heh.

so i met Lia(i had 8th grade drama with this girl kids! old school comin' out), her sister Julie, and their friend Sarah from Sebastapol at the Eckerd's in St. Elmo about an hour later. i brought them to my house where they unpacked, checked out the Bonnaroo scheduale(their next destination for the coming day), and made plans to go to CAFFIENE for dinner. The owners Blackie and Kelly are from where all us CA girls are from as well, same town and everything, so i thought they and my guests would be excited about the situation. We ordered some of the best sandwiches you will EVER taste and consumed WoodChuck Amber Cider. Everyone had some Pabsts' before we left as it is Tennessee and I told them if they wanted true local flavor it was a must. I know it exists other places then TN, but it's that cheap ass beer with the ribbon on the front that i've come to associate with tennessee now. We were accompanied by John-Michael, Tom Thrash, Brice from Jacksonville Tennessee[ya'll!], Cecil Straticus Parrott III, Molly Ringwald, her flame, my mistress of the night megan(notice there is no funnyness in the spelling that doesn't make sense, it's just MEGAN, how it should be?), and a few other guests who would pop in and out.
About 8:30, after 3.5 hours of consuming yummyness on their beergarden patio), we departed to Clumpie's ice-cream. We took our ice-cream down to Coolidge park where they saw the touristy things and the breathtaking cranes. It was a noble sight. We strolled through the park to Standard Ink where i introduced them to everybody. This is where Julie informed Jesse she was so surprised to see that chattanooga had buildings and things. This isn't an out of context statement. She actually said it. I just think she meant she thought it would be another Bucksnort tennessee where all that existed was a porn shop and a gas station. Amber told us a story about a really classy girl she served the other night. Long story short, some girl pooped the floor, herself, her seat, and continued to marinate in her feces for the duration of her cocktail hour with friends. what kind of friend doesn't tell someone it's time to go after the poop all over an establishment and can be convicted by the mark streaming down her leg?! sorry if that was too much info, im just giving an honest account here.

Next we went back to the apartment where John-Michael, Big Ray Pedrone from Philly, and Megan were waiting for us. Megan had done my dishes AND given me a present. She gave me 7 of the coolest glasses you will ever see. They're those Huge Bowl-style glasses for whisky, etc. with assorted labels printed on the front including Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Michelobe, etc. Twas excited. From there the crowd was a steady Ten. We chilled on the porch and played with the best quality sparklers i've ever experienced(they last forever and actually shot of start shapes)with a soundtrack of
Murder By Death
The Pixies
Neutral Milk Hotel
Warren Zevon
and Carcass.

The bar consisted of
Barefoot Chard
Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum
Absolute Vodka(White Russians)
Corona(with fresh lime! Kudos and thanks to Big Ray from Philly)
Amber Bach
Steel Reserve

We went on to watch Ricci-oh!, but all i remember are the gory parts(like when the guy punches the other guy and it goes right into his stomache. super gross! but my company loved it, which i think means john-michael and california girls arn't such a bad match. ;) We snacked on Hummus(from Trader Fuckin' Joe's!!!! pardon my french, but trader joe's ya'll!!! ah!!!!!!!!!!) dipped with pita bread, chips ahoy cookies, and i had a lime ice-pop that made my vomit later that evening actually a beautiful shade.
We all passed out about 2 probably and woke up about 8. The girls brushed their teeth and i ran them to greyfriar's for a last adventure and some good coffee and breakfast to get them started on their day. they departed about 9 for Manchester, Tennessee where they will encounter Seu Jorge at 2pm. For that I'm jealous, but it's ok. I was just so excited to have my visitors. ANYWAY.

i just wanted to thank everybody who hung out last night, i had the greatest time and i hope you did too!!!


love-em

4:15PM

Today im filling out lease information and contracts and things for my new apartment, then i've got to send it all in with a $368 check. my folks are helping me for a little while until i get on my feet. instead of paying the full $465 a months i'll be paying $275, which is completely doable unless i have to stop serving at Sticky Fingers. which leads me to. . .
i went to the doc yesterday in chickamauga. he said i had what they call "dropfoot". dropfoot is what it sounds like- instead of walking heal-toe, you foot just goes straight down, therefore you walk slightly funny. the weird part is drop foot is usually associated with hysterectomy's and stomache surguries and things like that. over the phone he said to another doctor "yeah! it's really pretty neat, just too bad for her". im a medical marvel!

im sitting her at my parents home waiting on my laundry to finish so i can have clean underwear and pants for my trip to new jersey. whoo! i've had a ridiculously wonderful last 5 minutes and i have
a)had a big chocolate chip cookie
and
b)played with kittens

cookies and kittens. i beg you to top that.
i have finals tomorrow and then thursday we leave for our 13-15 hour drive to new jersey. i might update before we leave as for some reason i've been actually active on this thing recently. if not- wish me luck!

11:00AM - cause i used to do this all the time.

this one is great.

i got this quiz off a girl that posts pictures of her guinnea pigs, has guinnea pig icons, and writes about nothing BUT her "pigs". so i thought i'd honor her fanaticism by taking this quiz...about guinnea pigs! (http://onlyblossom.livejournal.com/)

6:45PM - this week in emily.

things i did this week:

-went to a llama farm(2 L's people!), where a 3 story barn had been converted into a gothic-church-looking farmhouse. the architecture was amazing, as well as the hand-welded chandeliers and the huge 2-story pipe organ. i have pictures on my phone, but they won't send at the moment.

-had an amazing drive through the country

-modeled nude for 4 old women

-stopped by sarah's randomly to talk about the apartment; finalized the deal with the new landlord; about to sign a lease for my first apartment!

-not washed my hair(going on 6 days, this whole not having a house thing and having your belongings scattered across can reflect on your hygiene. though i have brushed my teeth thank you very much. i should just stop talking now. . .)

-took sarah and chris out for lunch at work($15 for three people to eat a complete meal of ribs. how awesome is that?!), followed by a viewing of ghost world.

-worked my ass off and managed to earn $400 for our upcoming New Jersey/New York/Bamboozle trip. we leave thursday for our 13 hour drive. diet will consist of aderol, red bull, and peanut butter. budget is going to be tight with the gas prices climbing. O_o

-lounged and enjoyed fine liqeuouurs with john-michael, Chris, Cess, and her lovely husband Max. i was so excited to finally spend some time with cess that was over a 5 minute "layover" time. usually as i am arriving she is leaving and we end up having to settle for pleasentries. the lovely lady bought me a jack and coke that i quickly consumed in the ladies room. the drinks were great. the company was best. and the cleavage was lord! hahha.

more later. just thought i would actually UPDATE.

4:00PM

Tuesday lunch went well yesterday. we ate at rembrandts and toured the sculpture garden.

Cessna made it clear that he absolutly hates Evan Lewis and that "he's a joke". eh. i can see what he means, but how serious can you take a man with a newspaper on his head? ;)
in other news, my summer allergies have arrived and im disgusting. ughhhhh.

10:01AM - you missed out fancy lady

Last night, with plans to attend the covited summer event "1/2 price wine night" at MudPie crushed, the lovely john-michael bond, christopher coffey, and ray pedrone joined me in a trip to Lamar's and an intimate welcoming of summer gala where we dined on cinnamin toast crunch, drank 40oz.(like men!), and watched indiana jones.
many cigarettes werere smoked, and by the time indie had gotten some from the hot nazi lady chris was halfway bald outside on the lawn. i think it turned out pretty good. he looks like a monk now, but we decided to leave the tail. he woke up this morning with bed head if you can believe it, but just in the tail. . .this makes me very happy. so happy summer to all!!
oh, and by the way, this picture of chris is after he had finished his 40oz. there was about a third of the bottle left before we started
this drinking game where you take a sip every time a swastika or a fez shows up on the screen. that 1/3 of the bottle lasted ot 3 minutes!




ray laughing at an amazing john-michael


ray explaining some things to chris:



enlightenment hits- 3 a.m.




and might i add, i woke up at 9:30 this morning and the day is just beautiful here?

2:48PM

"Holy Mother"


"Dr. Mom"


"Transfusion"


"2 Tsp."

11:52PM - magpies

3:39PM - Daud. . .

piece of a piece.

http://www.daudakhriev.com/

2:51AM

well that last journal entry didn't work. what's with the coding around here anyway? im just not there yet. not cool enough. and apparently this draft is being autosaved. at 2:52:42. got it.
another thing that i'm not sure how it came aboot. anyway. on with this. pointless, mildly entertaining stuff.

Go to Wikipedia and look up your birthday (excluding the year). List three neat facts, two births and one death in your journal, including the year.

JULY 23

EVENTS
1829 - In the United States, William Austin Burt patents the first typewriter.
1973 - Robert Anton Wilson, the occultist/philosopher, either achieved contact with extraterrestrials from Sirius or started a long-term period of having wild hallucinations, depending on which way you want to look at it.
1984 - Vanessa Williams becomes the first Miss America to resign when she surrenders her crown after nude photos of her appeared in Penthouse magazine.

BIRTHS
1961 - Woody Harrelson, American actor
1965 - Slash, English-born guitarist (Guns N' Roses)
1967 - Philip Seymour Hoffman, American actor

DEATHS
1373 - Saint Birgitta, Swedish saint (b. 1303)

P.S. LOOK AT ALL THE CELEBRATIN' HAPPENING ON MY B-DAY. :)
Egypt - Revolution Day (1952)
Libya - Revolution Day
Papua New Guinea - Remembrance Day
Roman Empire - Neptunalia held in honor of Neptune
Rastafari movement - Celebration of the birthday of Haile Selassie
Astrology: First day of sun sign Leo

12:01PM - whoo hooo.

oh to the nights dedicated to solely quizs...hehe.

RENT!

[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v230/Sourapple477/anotherday.jpg[/img]
You are "Another Day." You have to explain to your love that there is only here and now.THERE'S ONLY US, THERE'S ONLY THIS.

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11:42AM - tasty hearthobs....mmm palpatations.

Your 80s Heartthrob Is

Jason Bateman

2:30PM - chop chop

congratulations to jym today, who is now a married man!!!!!!!
see you tonight buddy.
love-emily